I predict this year’s holiday box office hit to be, “Help! I’m Trapped In a Christmas Card” starring Andie MacDowell, Pam Grier and Peri Gilpin.
Tandie, (MacDowell) sick and tired of her mother’s (Cybill Shepherd) Christmas cards, has her world turned upside down when she finds herself trapped in a Christmas card! She must overcome her holiday fears and learn the importance of family if she is able to break the spell cast on her by the villainous Phantah (Grier) who guards over the Christmas card while sitting at a diner and musing angrily.
Tandie’s best friend, Rose (Gilpin) the only one who realizes she is trapped in the card, attempts to help her but cannot because she is mind-handicapped (too many pizzas).
Will Tandie’s ex husband, Biff (Dennis Quaid) rekindle his fire for Tandie in time? Will the city of Manhattan prove too difficult for Rose to navigate (because of the mind-wheelchair, remember?) will the president (a posthumous William H Macy) illegalize Christmas hexes in time?
Find out this Christmas what it means to have a Hallmark moment.
Also starring Della Reese, Mira Sorvino, the Cusacks, Freddie Prince Jr, Jared Leto, Stanley Tucci & William H Macey as the presidents, and in her first acting role Blu Cantrell as lower east side pedestrian.
Soundtrack provided by the one and only Mary J Blige. Buy in bulk at Costco NOW.
Adapted screenplay by a gnome shit.
A bad bitch never hates on another bad bitch. If you see a bad bitch and you know you’re a bad bitch, why hate? Send her a Chanel bag.